What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
