Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
