Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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