what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
