Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
only you would photoshop your dick
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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