you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
