An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize