Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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