I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
