her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
