And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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