You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
