Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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