tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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