I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Randomize
