I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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