He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize