my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
sex in a hospital.. check
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
be right there i have to get my cape
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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