well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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