i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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