Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
