he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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