she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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