Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
