at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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