Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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