I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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