so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
