Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
