my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
