oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
