I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
