dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
