All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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