You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
