he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she pinky promised me she was 18
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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