Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
