I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
