The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
