K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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