I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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