I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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