is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize