He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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