i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize