omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just come out here and I will go home with you...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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