let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
