I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
