A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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