We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
