We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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