Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
