i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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