I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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