i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
