His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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