a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Mom said you looked used
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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