hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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