Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
