On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
