the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
why is half of my head shaved?
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